"Could you explain quickly what AHS’s about ?"
It’s one of those nights where you have absolutely no time for sleep.
I feel ya. I’m mentally preparing myself for an all nighter. T-minus 6 hours until my bio exam fml help. :(
It’s pretty funny to me how one of the very few reasons I could come up with to continue living is “I have to find out what happens to Sydrian in the Silver Shadows.” It’s kinda pathetic but it’s true. And now all I want to do is shut out the world and read Bloodlines. Thank you, Richelle Mead.
I’m alright. Thank you though
I guess we’ll find out. Thanks for the concern though, I just needed to vent.
Thanks for the concern, really. But it doesn’t work that way in my world. I can’t just see some therapist because if my parents find out they just think that there’s something wrong in my head, that I’m stupid for thinking this way. Other people around me will just think that I’m seeking attention because that’s what so many people do around here. Around here, we’re all asian and the stereotypical competition is real. Everyone here feels the same pressures from parents and schools, and most of them would not understand what’s so special about my problems. They don’t know the real depths of it all, and to them I will just be seeking attention or weak to feel so depressed when they have managed to stay strong. Around here, everyone tries to stand out and excel, and if you stand out in a bad way, you’re looked down on. I know this was not what you were expecting and I still appreciate the good thought, it’s just not all that simple. I wish it was. As for someone who is willing to listen, like I said, we all have our own problems and they have enough on their plate so that they don’t want to deal with my burden.
While i disappear from school and go on a suicidal walk home, none of my friends even care to notice or bother to say anything. Not even my so called “close” friends who actually saw me crying. Nobody fucking cares, i could kill myself and nobody would have even noticed til its too late.
To be honest I just came so close to giving up today. I stormed out of school crying and while walking home i just started to break down. The scariest part is after i finished being sad, i started to feel numb. I couldnt stop thinking whats the point of life. I didnt even have the urge to self harm, i felt past that. I just kept thinking i have 16 pills of vicoden at home just waiting for me. All i need is 12 to be lethal and 4 more for reassurance. I cant find the point to continue when all i do is fuck up and deserve it. I deserve the mess im making. Except now that ive calmed down, i just feel the need to read Bloodlines and sleep for a long time. Except i have more finals which i will continue to fail. I cant do this.
I feel like 2013 has brought on nothing but pain from long awaited books
i really like the idea of a fantasy setting but in modern times. elves on smart phones and taking pictures for their instagram. dwarves getting into console wars and calling each other casual gamers. mages casting dangerous spells for the vine. i want it.